The Mom Guilt Remedy
I know you’ve heard it and felt it, let’s talk about the mom guilt remedy. I’m going to take you through a visualization exercise. Close your eyes. Okay shoot, open your eyes and keep reading but imagine your eyes are closed as I paint this picture for you. You’re a mom, so you are used to multitasking, right? Okay, here we go.
You birthed your beautiful baby three months ago. You’ve gotten the hang of your baby’s cues and are noticing more of your offspring’s personality. This baby thing is starting to be kind of fun and not just all sleepless nights. And now you are packing your bag, grabbing your coffee and leaving your sweet babe as you head back to work. Maybe your breasts are still full of milk and your amped up to figure out pumping while working. Your body feels a little off and yet you are putting on a happy face to reintegrate to working life. Open your eyes now.
Pause and check in with your body. What do you feel physically? What emotion is most dominant? Maybe it’s excitement and you are absolutely looking forward to doing more than just baby talk in your day… or on the opposite end, maybe it’s shear panic at leaving your baby for the entire day, most likely it’s a combination of both. And it doesn’t take going back to work to feel it. Wherever you are on this spectrum, from what I have heard through the years, there is some feeling of guilt. More specifically, this is mom guilt. Even though every mom experiences it, not many give a voice to these feelings out loud.
A lot of moms feel like they’re never doing enough, whether it be for their kids, their partner, their home, their job and oh yeah, for themselves! If you have ever felt that you are not capable to meet the increasingly high standards floating around, let me tell you, you are not alone. That’s what the mom guilt remedy is all about. The next question that comes up is, why is this so and did our mothers feel this way too?
Think back to our mothers generation, or our grandmothers generation, I’m not saying they didn’t need a mom guilt remedy too, but there were hundreds if not thousands of less decisions to be made in motherhood back then. Mom’s fed their children food that was available and that they could afford, kids went to the school that was closest to their house. And moms never had to think about how much screen time their child should have because all the technological games and toys we have today had not yet been invented. Let me try to alleviate this one piece of guilt right now for you mama, it is not possible for a single human being to sort and process all the information out there today on raising children, health and wellness, so take that expectation off your list.
The Mom Guilt Remedy In Action
I want to give you a self compassion practice plan for when mom guilt is starting to settle in. Sometimes you don’t know that its mom guilt and it takes a while to put your finger on it. With practice you will be able to notice more quickly. When you do notice that mom guilt is knocking on your door try this simple exercise:
- Pause. Notice where you feel the “guilt” in your body. Is it a heaviness in your chest? A buzzing in your stomach?
- If it feels okay for you, place a hand over that area of your body. Let the gesture of your hand meeting your body represent a sentiment similar to, “wow, this is a hard emotion to feel. I am here with you.”
- Take a couple breaths with your hand offering comfort to the part of you that feels guilt.
- Choose one word or phrase that will bring you ease, such as “soften,” “I am enough,” “love,” and repeat it in your mind on the inhale and exhale for 5 breaths.
How do you feel? This exercise may help ease the pull of guilt and remind you that you are doing awesome. You are awesome! No one can mom quite like you can. There will always be something new to bring on the guilt but with this practice in your back pocket you may be able to work with it rather than let it take you down. I believe in you.
To learn more about simple practices you can do to combat mom guilt and mindset issues click here to purchase The Unstoppable Mom Ebook!